Something More Coaching

January 8, 2015
by Jillian

End of Year Reflection

Welcome to 2015!  It’s another New Year, full of possibility and hope.

I was talking about the idea of new year with a friend recently and was asking her if she did any kind of end of year reflection.  It’s funny, as we often do it in our careers or after a big life change, but actually the practice of looking back and evaluating is one that’s good to do at this time of year.  What went well in 2014?  What were your challenges?  How did you overcome them?  What are you proud of yourself for?

I like this article, with some ideas for questions to ask yourself.  It’s for school children but some of the questions could easily be adapted for a more adult perspective:

The other lovely idea to do is to write a letter to your future self.  Why not write a letter to yourself to be opened at the end of 2015, outlining what you hope you have achieved?  When you read it this time next year, you’ll have a wonderful feeling of connecting with yourself across time, and may have just surprised yourself with what’s happened through the year.

I love this article – it takes it a bit further and is about writing to yourself 10 years in the future!  What a great teacher this class had:

So this January, why not take a bit of time to reflect back as well as look forward?  You might just find it gives you a bit more clarity on where you are and the you that you want to become in 2015.

June 4, 2014
by admin

My Thoughts on Minimalism

I have been reading a lot recently about the concept of minimalism and can recommend the Becoming Minimalist website if you have yet to visit.

The idea behind minimalism is paring down the things in your life which are not useful or beautiful.

My favourite thoughts on minimalism so far are:

– it frees you up to focus on what’s really important by creating space for the things that matter most.
– it looks different for different people –  we all have things that are excess to us.
– Anything not beautiful or functional for us is excess. Living with less requires less time, money and maintenance, freeing us up.
– “If you are not happy there is nothing you can buy this weekend to change that” (
– We could all think more about what we buy and the reasons behind it.

Thinking more widely about it, I think that too much living in any one way is bad. Our lives work best when they are balanced. So if we only take but never give, buy but never get rid of anything, or work and not play, we are swinging the pendulum too far one way and swinging away from a great life experience.

Most of us are probably swung towards having or doing too many things so may benefit from exploring some minimalism. By using less, it may just help us to live more!

February 4, 2014
by admin

Some Valentine Thoughts

It’s soon to be Valentine’s Day!

I wanted to share some thoughts for all those who are single and all those in relationships, too.


Advantages of being single….

If you want to spend £80 on boots, you can!

You don’t have someone else’s comments (however well-meaning) on what you wear.

When you are not in the realities of a relationship and the associated analysis, you can daydream about how it might be -amazing.

You can study love, plan what you want.

Look at those in bad relationships, think about how lucky you are.

You might be with someone for the rest of your life, this might be your time to do what you really want.

When you are with someone, you are bound to them (with silk ribbons, maybe, but still, you are tied).

You want to be in a place where you would gladly tie those ribbons round your wrists.

Sometimes it’s braver to be on your own.

…as yet undefined by someone’s expectations or limitations.

Love can be the most incredible thing. You raise your chances of finding it the right way by focusing on yourself.

Being single is a chance to work yourself out, become the best possible version of you, so you can get the best possible version of someone else… And they will have no power over your insecurities!

Don’t look enviously at happy couples, know that it is coming your way.

And know that because it exists for them, love can happen for you, too. And will, in its own time.

And know that there are many who haven’t got their dreams but have settled for what they have in case they never get more. It’s all still out there for you, it’s still all open.

You don’t need a red rose to tell you that you’re special (or if you really do, buy yourself one!).

If you’re single, it’s for a reason. You’ve not committed your heart and your feelings because you’ve not met the right person.

Empowerment is a positive choice. You want the right person to meet all your dreams – the silly ones and the deeper ones – it will be worth the wait.

Your ‘little girl/boy dreams’ are still all possible.

You currently have all parts of you to yourself.

And if you’ve met your partner…

And if you have met that perfect person, use this day as a reminder to treasure and appreciate them.

Know that if it really is the ultimate love, it will spill over and create happiness further than just the two of you – because when you have something that special, you unthinkingly share it.

You might argue and fall out and have problems, but there will always be something unquestioned at your core, a feeling that you are meant to be together.

You should feel completely comfortable with your partner, they should love and accept every part of you (even your annoying habits!).

You can’t imagine ever being without them.

Happy Valentine’s Day :-).

November 22, 2013
by admin

The Moments, The Past

Every moment passes

And falls into the past

Everything that happens

Does, but a moment, last.

At the time so red,

So vivid an array,

Episodes, over time,

Become a shade of grey.

The heat of the instant

Soon dissipates

Life turns into

Other states.

And on these tides,

We humans are cast,

Living the moments

That become the past.

November 5, 2013
by admin

The Clouds

I was on a flight from Glasgow to Birmingham yesterday and there were hardly any clouds. The most amazing views could be seen, especially of the hills… I have flown a lot but I had never seen them before!

It got me thinking, in this case those amazing views are always there but you can’t always see them for the clouds. The same goes the other way. If you are under a cloud you forget that the sun and beautiful skies are above it. But no cloud lasts forever. Clouds travel and change, form and disappear. Clouds are like the things that happen to us. Some are small and wispy and some are big and black. You can’t know what kind of cloud is coming but you do know that they will all pass. And that there will be many times of beautiful sunshine across that sky.

June 29, 2013
by admin
1 Comment

More about letting go

I’ve written a lot about letting go of something and I think letting go is about letting go of a future that you have envisaged and anticipated. So when a relationship ends, we do mourn the past but we still have that because it happened; what we are really mourning is the loss of future experiences that we might have.

So, again in the relationship example, we won’t be with that person any more or do those things that we did in the past again, or we won’t do the things that we daydreamed about or envisaged happening in the future. Like getting married, going on holiday, sharing a home or the smaller things – cooking together, watching a film. You are mourning more of the same and the loss of that projected future.

It’s the same with an opportunity that doesn’t come about. A job you really want, a home you really want. Part of the original decision-making process and original wanting is visualising yourself in that situation – what you would do, how it would happen, the benefits. If the opportunity doesn’t materialise, those are the things you have to let go of – your dreams, your hopes, your visualisations.

It’s sad and hard to do, but once you can accept the loss of the future you foresaw, the possibilities open up again and soon there will be another opportunity that comes along and makes you think a certain way. And perhaps that will be the one to materialise. And the one that’s right.

June 15, 2013
by admin

It Will Still Be There

I haven’t blogged for a while. I have wanted to but other things have been happening.

There was a time I would feel bad about that (well ok, I do a bit!) but it reminds me of a great piece of advice I heard someone being given.

A girl had been attending one of my dance classes and was unable to go for a few months due to other things happening. On her first night back she was saying how she felt guilty and someone else said to her “Don’t worry, dance will still be here when you’re ready for it!”

It was a nice sentiment but it is actually also very good advice which has stuck with me. And it doesn’t just apply to exercise. We do a lot in our lives and sometimes something happens which means we can’t do everything we usually do or there is a significant development in one area of our lives which means we have to leave aside other things for a while to focus on it. And sometimes that is the best thing to do.

And I like to think that whatever it is you have placed to the side; it will still be there when you’re ready for it.

And if for some reason it’s not then it just means something better is meant for you in the future.

April 28, 2013
by admin

How Time ‘Feels’

There are and always will be (unless we change the way it is counted!) 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour and 24 hours in a day. We all have the same time to work with but use this very differently.

Work, socialising, family commitments, reading, travelling, creativity, life admin. We use our minutes very differently. And over time the precise balances and allocations of our time will change due to developments in our lives.

It has always fascinated me how the same portion of time can ‘feel’ so different. An hour, when spent with friends, can be gone almost immediately but spent in an exam hall facing an unknown question it can drag on…and on.

I think there are two interesting points about this. The first is routine. Most of us will have routines and habits that shape our days. When we always do the same thing, or do a thing in the same way, we start to switch off to it. We don’t notice anything on our commute to work any more, we stop tasting the same breakfast we always eat, we have the same conversations with the same people. Time goes by very quickly…unless we think about how much ‘time we have left’ on something and then it slows down!

The second interesting thing about this is awareness. Being aware of time slows it down. Either negatively (in the exam hall example) or positively (really savouring a moment in the sun, for example).

I think, to make the most of our lives, we need to stop ‘switching off’ to things and to become aware.

A great example is going away for a weekend. Isn’t it amazing how much you can do in one weekend when you are somewhere else? I think it’s because you are breaking your routine and becoming aware of everything around you…somehow you experience far more in that same portion of time.

It’s a good exercise to notice how your time is being spent. What are you ‘switched off’ to, when are you least aware…and can you try something different to make that time more fulfilling and to notice it more?

How does your time ‘feel’? We can’t realistically spend all of our time on things that we want to but small portions of richly-experienced time can enhance and uplift our lives. One way to start is by making some small changes to the necessary everyday routines. Something just different enough to make us notice them again and change how that time ‘feels’.

April 12, 2013
by admin
1 Comment

Letting Go

I was finishing up work for a wee holiday today. It’s always the same. You want to finish off as much as possible, not have too much to hand over to colleagues and have a wee tidy so you have a nice desk to come back to. And if you can reduce the size of the inbox ready to receive everything in your absence, even better!

In reality, what usually happens is something comes out of nowhere that needs urgently dealt with, you don’t achieve even half of your list, you barely have time to give your cup a quick rinse and you’re out the door. Frazzled, you remember things you’ve not done on the journey home, and feel stressed about what you will come back to.

This is when the letting go has to happen. There will always be something that there’s not time for. Something that will be forgotten. Something that there will be no time for. And either you can choose to dwell on it or accept it and let it go.

This doesn’t only apply in a work context but in any circumstance where there is limited resource and limited time. We can only do, give and achieve so much until it comes down to the very fabric of our physical and mental selves. And that’s too much to give for anything.

A dear friend reminded me recently that “what we practise, we become”. Practise letting go. Stop before you think you should and accept it. Breathe. Let go. And know you will come back to it when you’ve had time away to relax and become refreshed.


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