Something More Coaching

More about letting go

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I’ve written a lot about letting go of something and I think letting go is about letting go of a future that you have envisaged and anticipated. So when a relationship ends, we do mourn the past but we still have that because it happened; what we are really mourning is the loss of future experiences that we might have.

So, again in the relationship example, we won’t be with that person any more or do those things that we did in the past again, or we won’t do the things that we daydreamed about or envisaged happening in the future. Like getting married, going on holiday, sharing a home or the smaller things – cooking together, watching a film. You are mourning more of the same and the loss of that projected future.

It’s the same with an opportunity that doesn’t come about. A job you really want, a home you really want. Part of the original decision-making process and original wanting is visualising yourself in that situation – what you would do, how it would happen, the benefits. If the opportunity doesn’t materialise, those are the things you have to let go of – your dreams, your hopes, your visualisations.

It’s sad and hard to do, but once you can accept the loss of the future you foresaw, the possibilities open up again and soon there will be another opportunity that comes along and makes you think a certain way. And perhaps that will be the one to materialise. And the one that’s right.

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