Something More Coaching

I tried something interesting a few years ago when I felt frustrated and unhappy with where I was in life and felt a need to do something about it – it was The Change Month.

Apparently, changing your habits gets easier after the first 4 weeks and by 12 you have developed new ones.  So I thought that a month of ‘blitzing’ the changes I wanted to make would set me on the path to sort my future.  I also hoped it would let me be the person I really wanted to be, overcome the limitations that had been holding me back and set myself some challenges which in turn would improve my confidence and self-esteem.

During The Change Month, I wanted to make every day count, haul myself onto a positive spiral, and turn the negative into positive.  It was about making steps, big or small, in the right direction.

So I created broad headings – work, career, health, fitness, finances, appearance, mindset and relationships and some goals beneath them and every day for a month, I tried to do something towards one of more of them – and kept a diary each day recording my progress.  I tried to live as if I was achieving everything I really wanted.  I must admit I had a false start and blew the lot of them in the first week, but I just started again the next week and that time I did it.  I made some really good progress on a lot of my goals and the act of living ‘as if’ I was being who I really wanted was great – it was a huge goal to strive for.  And the whole process made me feel more confident and more positive about everything and fired me up to make better changes in my life.  I might not have achieved everything I set out to, but I made steps towards them, which was further than I’d been before.

I would recommend a ‘Change Month’ – write down your ultimate dreams and then every day for a month try to make them happen. Go all out for it!  And change just has to begin!

I’m like most people in that I think a lot about what I ‘should’ be doing. Either by virtue of my age (how we naturally compare ourselves to our peers) or things I expect of myself in my own mind.

It’s a difficult way to live as often the ‘should do’s’ might not be what we really want in our lives. Perhaps we no longer know what we really want!

Steve Jobs said “live every day as if it’s your last because one day you’ll be right”. We hear this sentiment a lot but how many of us REALLY hear it? Most of us think about what we ‘don’t want’ or ‘should do’. But imagine daydreaming about all the things you could do, if you really wanted.

Last year, to celebrate turning 30, I decided to create a ’30th list’ of 30 things I really wanted to do. Just for me to focus on what I really wanted. The things on it weren’t all big (some were, like visiting Niagara Falls) but all meant something to me. I’d always wanted to try clay pigeon shooting, a zip slide, see a panda, learn to meditate, catch up with old friends…lots of things on there. Of course, there were  no consequences if I didn’t do everything…but I wanted to. And even the act of thinking about what you DO want in life opens up new ideas and feels great! 30 was a big commitment so this year I’m doing something a bit less formal and aiming to do something I really want to do once a month.

I try to do them along with other people which makes it even more positive an experience. If you haven’t tried anything like this before I’d recommend picking and planning just one thing to look forward to. A new experience brings a freshness like nothing else and might just inspire you on to more!

I realised that, on some level, we all think there’s ‘something more’ to life… Whether it’s a holiday in the Caribbean, a designer handbag, new car, dream job, or relationship, most of us are always striving for something that will make us happy, be who we’ve always wanted to be and want for nothing ever again. I think on some level, that’s good because we all need things to work towards and aim for but the trick is in valuing what you have right now which, as quotes tell us, is something you once wanted! And not pinning your happiness to one future thing. The pursuit of ‘more’ in itself is good in that we don’t rest on our laurels…we aspire to be better than we are, the best possible versions of ourselves and that is a positive thing…but to truly get there means valuing who you are and what you have right now so you can expand on that.

And there are lots of smaller ways to create a feeling of ‘something more’ in your life which are achievable, realistic and fulfilling. I plan to share some of ideas in this blog that I have tried and hope they might help inspire others.